Illness didn’t just change my body
It changed the way I see your face
Hospital letters on the kitchen table
Calendar full of fear I can’t erase
Scan rooms humming louder than my breathing
Blood tests leaving bruises I don’t show
I keep smiling through the conversations
While inside I’m breaking and you don’t know
I’m still the one who shows up when you’re falling
Still the one who answers every call
Holding everybody else together
While my world feels like it’s about to fallSo ask yourself, do you really see me
Do you ask how I am and wait for truth
Do you remember every date that scares me
Or just love the easy parts of me and you
Do you sit with me when words stop working
When silence is all I’ve got to give
Or do you wait for the fun version of me
The one pretending she knows how to liveYou say “God she’s strong” like it’s comfort
But strength isn’t crying alone at night
Strength isn’t shaking when the phone rings
Praying bad news doesn’t change my life
You love the version that laughs too loudly
The carefree girl who makes things feel okay
But do you notice when I go quiet
Cause I’m trying not to fall apart that day
You like me easy, light and smiling
Not the girl scared of her own skin
Not the girl counting every symptom
Wondering what tomorrow’s bringing inSo ask yourself, do you really see me
Do you ask how I am and wait for truth
Do you remember every date that scares me
Or just love the easy parts of me and you
Do you sit with me when words stop working
When silence is all I’ve got to give
Or do you wait for the fun version of me
The one pretending she knows how to liveThere’s a handful of hearts that stayed beside me
They remember dates before I speak
They hear me crying down the phone line
They hold me steady when I’m weak
They see the anger and exhaustion
The good days and the nights I break
They never ask me to be stronger
They just stay for every breath I take
Those are the people I’m not losing
Those are the ones I’ll fight beside
They carried pieces of me through darkness
When I thought I wouldn’t surviveSo ask yourself, were you really there for me
Did you stand beside me through the storm
Cause some of you only loved the sunlight
Not the nights when life felt far from warm
The ones who left are not my circle
And someday when you need me too
Don’t be surprised if my answer’s no
I finally learned what I’m worth to you
Going through life thinking I might not make it
Changes everything you thought you knew
I won’t love people more than I love myself again
And to the real ones
We got this
I’ll be forever grateful to you ❤️
