Madam Herta In My Head

[Intro]
Yeah
Heh
It’s you again
[Verse 1]
Woke up, same room, same stain on the ceiling
Phone glow, scroll low, trying not to feel things
Timeline full of pretty lives, highlight reels spin
Mine look like deleted scenes I never get to be in
Cold cup on the desk, three days, I still sip
Ashtray full of plans I burned when they didn’t hit
Mama text "you ate?" I lie, "yeah, I’m straight"
But the fridge light flickers on an empty plate
Madam Herta on the screen, so composed, so cruel
Every word cut clean like a scalpel through the gloom
I replay her lines when the silence too loud
Like she’s whispering permission just to fade into the clouds
Told myself "one more night," that was last year
Now I bargain with the dark like a cashier
Stacked doubts on the counter, they don’t take returns
Every try leave a mark, every mark still burns
[Chorus]
I keep saying I’m done, but I never clock out
Dead stare at the sun till my thoughts black out
Madam Herta in my head, she the only one who stays
Telling me to give in, but I’m limping through the days
I keep saying I quit, but I’m still in this fight
Half buried in the pit, half grabbing for the light
If I ever disappear, just know I really tried
Every time I gave up, I still somehow survived
[Verse 2]
Therapist voice in my ear, "breathe, count three"
But my chest like a padlocked door with the wrong key
Group chat dry, everybody "busy, next week"
I talk to avatars and anime just to feel seen
Madam Herta on pause, frozen on my cracked phone
Eyes like she see every habit I can’t disown
She a script I recite when the world too sharp
"I’m not built for this," let it loop in the dark
I fantasize vanishing mid-commute, mid-scroll
Just dissolve in the crowd, leave the jacket on the pole
Then I hear my own laugh in some old voice note
Tiny ghost in the speaker say "bro, stay afloat"
Every time I buy rope, I leave the tag on
Every time I map routes, I never tag on
Closed tabs, closed doors that I never walk through
Guess I’m scared of the end almost as much as the truth
[Chorus]
I keep saying I’m done, but I never clock out
Dead stare at the sun till my thoughts black out
Madam Herta in my head, she the only one who stays
Telling me to give in, but I’m limping through the days
I keep saying I quit, but I’m still in this fight
Half buried in the pit, half grabbing for the light
If I ever disappear, just know I really tried
Every time I gave up, I still somehow survived
[Bridge]
[low vocal register]
Yeah
This ain’t a hero arc, this a holding pattern
Sink, float, sink, float, just a broken lantern
Still dragging my feet through another gray morning
"Why you here?" I don’t know, but I keep respawning
[Chorus]

rap, Moody alternative hip-hop with a dim, sparse piano loop, dusty drum groove, and warped vocal samples. Verses are close-mic, confessional rap with subtle pitch-shifted ad-libs; hook opens with layered chant-style vocals and a heavier bass drop. Occasional dissonant synth swells creep in like intrusive thoughts, building tension then pulling back to a bare beat for the final lines., hip hop