dual shadow

# THE DUALITY (1,111 Letters)

**[Verse 1]**

I picked up the pipe thinking it would feel fun

Now I'm staring at the mirror, I don't know what I have become

They say it takes control, that it becomes your master

But I'm enjoyin this journey, going faster and faster

Every hit I take, I tell myself it's just this once

But the truth is that I'm learning what I want and ill allow to be undone

I can't stop, I won't stop, this is all I know

Every morning that I wake up, it's the same damn show

But maybe that's the lesson that I needed to learn

That the fire only teaches when you're willing to burn

I'm a slave to this feeling, it's got me on my knees

Or maybe I'm the one who holds the only keys

Tell me, am I trapped inside this cage I've built?

Or am I free because I carry all the guilt?

I can't escape, I can't escape, I can't escape this life

Or maybe I just won't because I'm learning from the strife

They told me that the substance is the problem, not the man

So I kept on using, thinking they would understand

That I'm not weak, I'm just broken, I'm just trying to cope

But the rope around my neck—is it bondage or is it rope

That I'm using to pull myself up out of the pit?

Or am I tying it tighter with every single hit?

See, I chase the feeling, that moment of relief

But it never lasts long, and that's my only grief

Wake up, use, sleep, repeat—that's my daily cycle

Everybody saying that I need some kind of revival

But I know something they don't, something in the struggle

That you can't control what you don't know how to juggle

So I keep on going, testing limits every day

Finding out exactly where my boundaries really lay

And yeah, it hurts, and yeah, I'm bleeding from the fight

But I'm learning that the darkness teaches different than the light

Now here's where it gets twisted, here's the part you won't believe

I'm either dying slow or living fast—which one you perceive?

Depends on if you see me as a victim or a student

Of the substance that enslaves or the teacher that's prudent

Enough to show me things about myself I'd never see

Without the pressure, without the test, without the need to be

Stronger than the craving, stronger than the pull

I'm either empty and broken or becoming full

Of understanding that the substance never had control

I gave it power when I said it captured my whole soul

So here I am, standing at the crossroads once again

Do I use because I'm broken or because I can?

There's a difference in the motive, in the why behind the what

Am I opening a wound or am I closing up the cut?

By learning that I'm stronger than I ever thought I'd be

That moderation isn't weakness, it's the ultimate degree

Of mastery—see, I could use forever, I could go

Until my body gives up, but that's not the point, you know?

The addict chases satisfaction but never arrives

Because they're looking for permission from something outside

satisfaction chosen, it's decided, it's a state

Of mind that comes from sovereignty, not from what you chase,from what you chose