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intence. Yes I’m scared and I have so many questions. The universe has a plan and we are her puppets. I can’t explain why we are drawn the way ar are. I wish I could.

6 times exactly you have suggested we stop and every single time neither of us let go.

Yesterday I came to the realisation that I need to stop your struggle and accept and turn away. Give you distance to breath. You asked for that. This morning I woke with determination to fade back into the distance. You brought me straight back to the hopeful pain that I’m trying to save you from so you can go about your private life.

If you need me gone you have to let me go Matty. Stop giving me hope. You know how I feel about you. My beautiful mysterious stranger. I need to give you distance and that’s ok I’ll hold onto our pain for a while. Let me go or show me why you need to to stay. You need to see the roller coaster holding on to that string is causing both of us. It hurts me to think you are happy with anyone else and I have no right to feel that for you. I have no right to want you the way I do. Each layer is enticing and I want more.