Breathing Through The Panic

Heart doing double time

Hands shaking at the checkout line

Buying milk

Pretending fine

Blinking back the rising tide

Phone says

“Are you okay?”

Thumb hovers

I look away

Counting tiles on the floor

Just to make it through the door

I’m still here

Breathing through the panic

Riding every wave till it breaks and it passes

Might fall apart in the back of the bathroom stall

But I get up

I get up through it all (oh)

I’m still here

Heart a little frantic

Somehow finding quiet in the madness

I’m not “all better

” I’m just holding on tonight

And that’s alright

Morning hits like a glare

Same ceiling

Same heavy air

Coffee shakes in a chipped mug

But I give myself a small hug

Talk to myself in the mirror

“Hey

You made it

You’re still here”

Tie my shoes

Not my worth

Step soft on this turning earth

I’m still here

Breathing through the panic

Riding every wave till it breaks and it passes

Might fall apart in the back of the bathroom stall

But I get up

I get up through it all (yeah)

I’m still here

Heart a little frantic

Somehow finding quiet in the madness

I’m not “all better

” I’m just holding on tonight

And that’s alright

Every tremor

Every tear in my sleeve

Is a chapter

Not the end of the story for me

So if tomorrow

Feels like too much to take

I’ll just promise

I’ll stay for one more day (one more day)

I’m still here

Breathing through the panic

Riding every wave till it breaks and it passes

Might break down crying in the car at a red light

But I stay

Yeah I stay in the fight

I’m still here

Heart a little frantic

Somehow finding quiet in the madness

I’m not “all better

” I’m just holding on tonight

And that’s surviving

Yeah

That’s surviving (oh yeah)