Bothersome

Try as I might, but I always block it out,

The truth is supposed to set me free.

My brain can't handle the simplest of things,

I can't let go because it's bothering me.

Ask me however many times, accuse if you want,

But I'll still do anything that you say.

Easier to blame me for your flaws

Than to look at your reflection anyway.

My triggers get the best of me, yeah,

But is that really the truth or just a saying?

No matter how straight up you claim to be,

I got swept up in the heart of your games

I get emotional and lash out because, fuck it,

The stuff trapped inside of me, and the shadow that's been hiding me, takes a bow and finally leaves.

Out walks a self, not quite me but close enough,

A product of the environment I've been in,

The way things shook me to the core,

And after all the battles I've been.

I always come right back for more.

Hard head, but harder to handle and easy to use,

Which way the things tip is so random.

You don't know how to love, but you sure took enough,

And found a way to abuse it.

Remorse never tasted anything but bitter for sure,

Try not to feel it, but it's always taking its course.

Resting on my tongue thick, my guts—

I don’t want knots, 'cause I can't shut off my negative thoughts,

And it's making me sick how you can be so quick

To cut me loose like I never meant a damn thing.

But there ain't no excuse for me to ever play victim

In a story that was never mine.