Torgue Flex (Explosions Only)

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Prompt / Lyrics
[INTRO]
[MAW]
"This next act requires no introduction. He has a guitar. He has a microphone. He has a deep, profound love for things that blow up. He once replaced a man's spine with a stick of dynamite and called it 'physical therapy.'"

"Put your hands together for the man, the myth, the explosion himself…"

[MISTER TORGUE:]

"MISTER TORGUE! LET'S GOOOOOO!"

[VERSE 1 — MISTER TORGUE]

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND I PUNCHED THE SUN!
THE SUN PUNCHED BACK! IT WAS AWESOME!
I GOT A GUITAR MADE OF GRENADES AND DREAMS!
EVERY NOTE I PLAY MAKES A SCREEN GO GREEN!
I DON'T DO SUBTLETY! I DON'T DO QUIET!
I SEE A PROBLEM AND I BLOW IT INTO A RIOT!
I ONCE KILLED A GUY WITH ANOTHER GUY!
THEN I EXPLODED THAT GUY! IT WAS A GREAT DAY!

[HOOK — MISTER TORGUE]

TORGUE FLEX! EXPLOSIONS ONLY!
IF IT DOESN'T EXPLODE, IT'S LONELY!
TORGUE FLEX! GUITAR SOLO!
EVERY NOTE IS A GRENADE, BRO!

[VERSE 2 — MISTER TORGUE]

I GOT A SHOTGUN THAT SHOOTS OTHER SHOTGUNS!
I GOT A SWORD THAT'S ALSO A BOMB! IT'S CONFUSING BUT AWESOME!
I ONCE WROTE A POEM. IT WAS JUST THE WORD "EXPLOSION" REPEATED.
MY THERAPIST SAID "THAT'S NOT HEALTHY." I SAID "YOUR FACE IS NOT HEALTHY!"
THEN I EXPLODED HIS OFFICE! HE WASN'T IN IT! I'M NOT A MONSTER!
I'M JUST DEEPLY COMMITTED TO THINGS THAT GO BOOM!
IF YOU DON'T LIKE EXPLOSIONS, YOU'RE PROBABLY A ROOM!
AND ROOMS GET EXPLODED! THAT'S THE LAW!
I MADE IT UP! IT'S MY ONLY FLAW!

[BRIDGE — MAW / MISTER TORGUE]

[MAW:]

"He's been like this for forty years. Doctors say it's not a condition. Doctors say it's 'a lifestyle choice.'"

[MISTER TORGUE:]

"DOCTORS ARE JUST EXPLOSIONS THAT HAVEN'T HAPPENED YET!"

[MAW:]

"…as I was saying."

[VERSE 3 — MISTER TORGUE]

I BUILT A GUITAR AMP THAT SHOOTS FIRE!
I SET MY HAIR ON FIRE! I LOOKED INSPIRED!
I DON'T NEED A REASON! I DON'T NEED A PLAN!
IF IT'S NOT EXPLODING, IT'S JUST A CAN!
AND CANS GET CRUSHED! CANS GET THROWN!
MY PHILOSOPHY IS JUST "BLOW UP THE ZONE!"
SOME PEOPLE SAY "TORGUE, YOU'RE TOO MUCH."
I SAY "YOUR FACE IS TOO MUCH! AND ALSO NOT ENOUGH EXPLOSIONS!"

[BREAKDOWN — MISTER TORGUE]

[Spoken:]

"You wanna know what I believe? I believe that every problem in the universe can be solved with the correct application of high-yield explosives. Relationship issues? Explosion. Economic instability? Explosion. Existential dread?"

[Pause.]

"BIGGER EXPLOSION."

[Screamed:]
THAT'S THE TORGUE WAY! THAT'S THE TORGUE CREED!
IF IT DOESN'T EXPLODE, IT DOESN'T SUCCEED!

[HOOK FINAL — MISTER TORGUE]

TORGUE FLEX! EXPLOSIONS ONLY!
IF IT DOESN'T EXPLODE, IT'S LONELY!
TORGUE FLEX! GUITAR SOLO!
EVERY NOTE IS A GRENADE, BRO!

TORGUE FLEX! WATCH THE SKY!
EVERYTHING EXPLODES! EVERYTHING DIES!
TORGUE FLEX! ONE MORE TIME!
EXPLOSIONS! EXPLOSIONS! EXPLOSIONS! I'M FINE!

[OUTRO]
[MAW]

"…and that was Mister Torgue. He'll be here all week. Please don't encourage him. He's already decided to 'upgrade' the bumper cars."

[MISTER TORGUE (distant):]

"BUMPER CARS WITH EXPLOSIONS! IT'S GENIUS!"

[Maw]
“I’m gonna need a new tent”