All or Nothing

I know everybody’s birthdays,

Know the stories they don’t post,

I’m the one they call at midnight,

Then forget me when they’re close.

I stand somewhere on the outside,

In every photo, every plan,

Close enough to be invited,

Not enough to hold a hand.

They said, “Come through, it’ll be crazy,”

Music loud and neon lights,

So I showed up twenty minutes early,

I was the only one that night.

(Pre-Chorus)

Maybe I talk way too much,

Maybe I laugh when stuff gets dark,

Maybe my brain moves too fast

And people don’t know where to start.

ADHD and oversharing,

Trauma jokes in every line,

I make pain sound entertaining

So nobody sees me cry.

(Chorus)

I have friends, but I still feel lonely,

Like the backup in everybody’s life,

The one they keep around for convenience,

But never choose on Friday nights.

I’m always all or nothing,

I don’t know how to halfway care,

If I loved you, I’d show up running,

No matter when, no matter where.

We’d make inside jokes in parking lots,

Talk about our exes till 3AM,

Take random roads with no destination,

Turn bad nights into medicine.

But I’m always the one ghosted,

Watching texts fade into blue,

Funny how I’d do forever

For people who’d forget me by noon.

(Verse 2)

I memorize little details,

Like your coffee, your favorite songs,

I notice when your smile changes,

When you say “I’m fine” but something’s wrong.

And maybe that’s too intense for people,

Maybe I feel things way too deep,

But I don’t get how everyone’s casual

With hearts they promised they would keep.

Sometimes I think I’m just “too much,”

Too loud, too honest, too strange,

But I’d rather be real and messy

Than fake enough for people to stay.

(Bridge)

I don’t need a hundred people,

I just wanted one best friend,

One person who would hear me ramble

And still call me up again.

Someone who’d say, “Get in loser,

We’re driving nowhere tonight,”

Someone who’d sit in silence with me

Without trying to fix my mind.

(Final Chorus)

I have friends, but I still feel lonely,

Like nobody knows me all the way,

I’m the almost person in every circle,

The extra chair they don’t save.

Still I keep my heart wide open,

Even when it gets torn through,

’Cause if somebody loved me like I love people,

God, I’d never let them feel this alone too.

(Outro)

So if you’re out there feeling forgotten,

Like you’re too weird to belong,

Maybe we’re just the kind of people

Who love a little too hard for this world