In pain

Why in my life always get messed up and I’m just tired of feeling like I’m nothing to anyone. And I don’t know why. people wanna keep stay with me even though I did stuff in the past, and every day I look at myself and I wonder why am I’m like that’s why am around them They deserve so much better than I do and to make them happy and like I don’t make them happy at all because I always hurt them in the process.