[Intro] Well they call me Death, I've worked since the start of time, Got an hourglass for every living soul, tracking every paradigm, I work seven days a week, and the job is never done, I'll guide you to what's next, when your race is run. [Verse 1] There was an impatient man, couldn't wait for toast, Bread was taking far too long, though it takes a minute most, Grabbed a metal fork and thought, "I'll speed this up somehow", Stuck it in the toaster slots, he's not hungry now, Got a shocking revelation, lit up like a tree, Two-twenty volts of current, and his final cup of tea. [Chorus] They all try to bargain, when the reaper comes to call, They promise me the world if I'll just spare them all, But I've heard it all before, every single night, I'll guide your soul to rest and read your last rites. [Verse 2] Young influencer at the zoo, needed one more shot, "Just a selfie with the bears, how dangerous is that?", Climbed the fence for likes and shares, followers and fame, The bear was not impressed at all, with his social media game, Last post went up automatically, phone still in his hand, Turns out wild animals, don't understand your brand. [Verse 3] Had a date at eight o'clock, wanted hair just right, Sprayed a can of aerosol, building up the height, Lit a cigarette to calm his nervous Friday night, Became a human fireball, oh what a sorry sight, Neighbours heard the whooshing sound, saw the flames so bright, His hairdo was spectacular, for his final flight. [Chorus] They all try to bargain, when the reaper comes to call, They promise me the world if I'll just spare them all, But I've heard it all before, every single night, I'll guide your soul to rest and read your last rites. [Verse 4] One genius tried to rob a shop, with just a kitchen knife, Thought he'd planned it perfectly, easy cash for life, But he hadn't checked the sign, hanging on the door, "Pete's Guns and Ammunition", specialist firearms store, Ten armed customers inside, owner had a Glock, His criminal career was short, ended with a shock. [Bridge] Got a garden full of roses, black as midnight's eye, House outside of time, beneath an endless sky, I've read every book that's written, learned every ancient song, I'm curious 'bout you humans, though I'll never quite belong. [Verse 5] Met a fellow juggling chainsaws, at a village fete, Someone said "You can't do four!", well that sealed his fate, "Hold my beer and watch me now, I've been practising!", Grabbed the fourth one from the ground, it was a stupid thing, Lost his rhythm, lost his nerve, lost a lot of blood, Entertainment for the summer fair, ended with a thud.

The Reapers Ledger