*INSANITY*

I’m praying ,im saved cuz I believe. Jesus gonna take it and run with me. I’m blessed, I’m chosen healing, still broken, I’m paying , I’m pained but focused the lord got a plan, Jesus hit me! Lord please show me , who I gotta be , to get to this plot you got setup for me. I’m struggling with addition, how I was raised , what’s right, what’s wrong , is it my high expectations , am I tweaking, Jesus I need ya , what the hell is wrong with me.

Most days I sit her crying, why this why that. Why me, why that. I know I’m Messing up, I wish I could say lately . But I been making mistake after

Mistake . Year after year decade after decade .Lord for heavens sake don’t let me end up in that place . .know see I need ya , I know I need ya. Jesus please…. break thru to me . You the only person that I know is true to me, so beat me bruise me I wanna share what you have done for me even tho it ain’t been done yet. Im just still not ready

. I have seen it, A life never struggling to live again, loving this woman the way she deserves to be. Be more grateful lord. share your love ,bless as many ppl as you let me bless. I’m tryne the best I can be. How do I let jesuses love run thru . Wanna live my life happily, no more sadness, no more pain, no more using to make that all go away.be an amazing husband and dad some day. Not end up in jail , and ruin my life he’s got planned and perfectly perfect for me. Why do I keep doing this to me . Man insanity , stupid as can be . wanting something different, but never truly making the change.

I always wanna make the change, always wanna be the change. End up down same road , somebody saved by Grace in more then one way. What can I say how many good woman can one man chase away . Broken . No wonder no one likes you anymore you become a person no one can respect no more. If pressure makes diamonds why am I still broken?

Jesus I need ya more then I ever needed ya, right here right now.help me someway somehow.