Verse 1
I learned to plan before I fall,
to think before I feel.
I drew maps of every possible road
so I’d never stand still with nothing real.
I explain every motion inside my head,
call it growth, but it’s camouflage in disguise.
I stay calm, reflective, say “I’m fine” —
while the truth stays buried behind my eyes.
I hold the reins ‘cause control feels safe,
‘cause chaos shows how fragile I am.
I function so well no one can tell
how much it costs just to be who I am.
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Pre-Chorus
I wear my order like armor of steel,
underneath beats a heart scared to scream.
I’m prepared for everything on the outside —
just not to be truly seen.
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Chorus
I live with masks that I built myself,
every one fits perfectly into the frame.
I want to be seen, but not too close,
‘cause closeness exposes the pain.
I scream for meaning, whisper my needs,
afraid you’ll leave if you know my name.
Tell me who I am when nothing works —
when I lose everything that keeps me safe.
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Verse 2
I share my art and call it just thoughts,
so it won’t hurt if nobody feels it.
When applause comes, I play it down,
like it doesn’t reach me, like I don’t need it.
I move through phases, call it freedom,
but maybe it’s fear with a better name.
I search for arrival, keep moving on,
‘cause standing still shows what I can’t escape.
I understand every wound but my own,
I listen, endure, put myself last.
Empathy’s a strength, but also a trap,
‘cause I disappear while wearing that mask.
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Bridge
What’s left of me if I don’t perform?
If I’m not strong, prepared, or smart?
Am I still someone who matters —
or just silence with too much dark?
Maybe growth isn’t a brand-new plan,
but staying when it starts to hurt.
Maybe courage isn’t getting louder —
but telling the truth when it has no worth.
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Final Chorus
I tear the masks off even if it burns,
even if I don’t know who I’ll be.
I stop explaining every part of myself
and start feeling — completely.
If I’m replaceable, tell me now,
but if I stay, not for the show or shine.
I don’t want safety at any cost —
I want to be real.
Or nothing at all.