Pehchan ki aawaz

Teri khushboo, ab bhi is kamre mein basi hai,

Jaise sard hawa mein ghuli raat ki raani ki mehak, ek pal ke liye, phir gayab, kahin door...

(…Door…)

Khali kursi pe, teri diary khuli padi hai,

Jaise koi khat, adhura sa, hawa mein ud raha hai, be-aawaz, be-lafz, jaise koi raaz chhupa ho.

(…Raaz…)

Thandi hawa ka jhoka, mujhe chhoo gaya abhi abhi,

Laga jaise resham ka sparsh tha, ek pal ke liye, ek meethi si kasak, dil mein uthi, ek yaad si, ek dard si, ek aas si, ek tees si.

(…Tees…)

Bewafai ka khanjar, tune ghonpa tha seene mein,

Zakhm bhar gaya hai, par dard ki chubhan baaki hai, ek namkeen si jalan, jaise aansoo sookh gaye hon, jaise dil sookh gaya ho, jaise rooh sookh gayi ho, jaise sab kuch sookh gaya ho.

Mohabbat ki aag, ab bhi raakh mein dabi si sulag rahi hai andar, ek dhuaan sa uth raha hai, ek be-chain dhuaan, ek siski si.

Aur main zinda hoon, yeh sochkar hairan hoon main, kyun zinda hoon main, is be-wafai ke baad bhi, kyun? kis liye? kisko sunaane ke liye?

(…Kyun… Kis… Liye?…)

Nafrat ek zeher hai, jo mere andar dheemi si goonj rahi hai, ek zehreelee aawaz, ek khamosh cheekh, ek ghazal adhuri si.

Badle ki aag, ab ban gayi hai meri soch, meri nazar, meri zubaan, meri har ek cheez mein, mere har ek khayal mein, mere har ek lamhe mein, meri har ek saans mein.

Teri khamoshi sunai deti hai, jaise koi purana gunaah yaad dila raha hai, koi bhayanak sapna, koi bhayanak sach, koi bhooli hui kahani.

Kaash main woh lamhe, bhula sakta, jo tere sang beete the, woh be-imaan lamhe, woh kasam-tod lamhe, woh jhoothe lamhe, woh zehreele lamhe, woh be-wafa lamhe, woh dardnaak lamhe.

(…Dardnaak…)

Aaine mein dekhta hoon, toh ek chehra ajnabi sa, be-jaan sa nazar aata hai, ek murda chehra, ek toota hua chehra, ek be-chehra chehra.

Kya main wohi hoon, jo kabhi tha, ya dard ne cheen li meri rooh, meri muskaan, meri zindagi, meri pehchaan, meri aawaz, meri khamoshi?

Dimag mein ek hulchul si machi hai, jaise koi cheekh dab gayi ho andar, koi aawaz phati ja rahi ho, koi tufaan aane wala ho, koi qayamat aane wali ho, koi dard uthne wala ho.

Kya main bikhar raha hoon? Yeh sawal kha raha hai mujhe, andar se, dheere dheere, har pal, har raat, har lamha, har saans mein, har dhadkan mein.

(…Dhadkan…)

Khamoshi itni hai, jaise koi kaala samundar chha gaya ho, mere andar, ek khaamosh samundar, ek gehra samundar, ek be-ant samundar, ek khamosh aah.

Jaise koi aawaz nahin, is duniya mein kabhi thi, na hogi, na kahin, na mere andar, na kahin bhi, na kisi mein bhi, na mere khayalon mein.

Main bhi khamosh ho gaya hoon, andar se bilkul khaali, be-jaan, be-wajah, be-maana, be-aawaz, be-harakat, be-ehsaas...

Par... Ek aas hai, ek koshish hai, ek umeed ki lau, kahin baaki hai, kahin door, kahin gum, par baaki hai, shayad baaki hai, shayad kahin toh baaki hai.

(…Shayad… Kahin…)

Kya yeh sirf ek dhoka hai, ek aur sapna jo toot jayega, ek aur fareb, ek aur jhooth, ek aur aas jo chhin jayegi?

Kya main phir se gir jaaunga, usi khaai mein, usi andhere mein, usi gaddhe mein....