I remember your big brown eyes
Staring back into mine
Fear filled my thoughts
Little bandaged feet curled back
Our hearts now entwined
I touched your precious little skin
Through the openings of a closed in crib
I never held you in my arms
But your daddy did
I didn’t know what the future held
Not for you or for me
I wished for you
Please let her stay
Please. Let it be
I prayed don’t take you away
Stay forevermore
A little heart to love
A blessing just for me
An angel sent from above
I cried silent tears every night
As I laid my head down to rest
I got mad
I asked why
Anguish & uncertainty
I’d run my hand across my belly
No answers told
Doctors read from text books
You were a rare case to hold
Very few walked your path back then
So many visits
So many decisions for me
I carried you with me
I decided let time see
They said you’d never walk or talk
Words that broke my heart to hear
I had a vision of a challenged life
That we both were about to walk
I told myself there’s got to be a reason
Why they’ve sent you to me
I took strength in knowing
That you were just meant to be
Isolated in a tiny room
Just your dad & I
They gave us a quiet few minutes
A decision your daddy said for me
Your little life laid in my hands
thoughts rushing in & out
I looked up and down the walls
Grief & doubt
I never spoke too many words
Just the ones I knew God would want to hear
There was no decision to make
God had answered my prayers
You were always meant to be here
Your life was not for me to take
I remembered that I prayed for you
Someone to love me unconditionally
Someone I could pour my heart into
Someone that would never leave
God gave me you
You became a shining light
A warm ray of sunshine
A star in everyone’s eyes
A hug that melts right through you
A laugh heard for miles
A determination that’s soars through life
Humour that brings joy to all
Always pushing me to be a better mum every time I’d fall
You are the reason I keep getting up
You are Gods call
In my darkest hours
Your always my final thought
No matter how hard life gets
Your the winning battles
That I always fought
Thank you for the struggles
For all the lessons learnt
Thank you for the bravery
Forged through fire & all the hurt