[Verse 1]
Step right up, folks, the circus is in town
Starring Captain Chaos in his golden paper crown
He’s got spray-tan armor and a brain cell on the run
Braggin’ ’bout the battles he never even won
He’s yellin’ at the wind, pickin’ fights with the sky
Talkin’ big, thinkin’ small, and believing his own lie
Every time he speaks, it’s a national event
’Cause nobody knows what the hell he just meant
[Pre-Chorus]
And I swear he’s proof that WiFi signals leak
’Cause he’s living in a glitch loop every single week
[Chorus]
Oh, he’s the Retard King of the wild, wild wrong
Rants so loud but the logic’s gone
Paper-thin pride and a temper that stings
Oh, hail the king of Retard things
Every meltdown’s like a comedy show
Facts hit him harder than a winter snow
He’s allergic to truth, like it’s poison or sting
Oh, all rise for the Retard King
[Verse 2]
He’s posting at 3 a.m. like a drama teen
Throwin’ tantrums bigger than his self-esteem
If chaos had a mascot, he’d be the face
Stumblin’ through scandals like he’s runnin’ a race
He builds tall tales like they’re Lego blocks
But every one collapses when reality knocks
He blames, he fumes, he points, he shouts
When the mirror shows the truth, the man taps out
[Pre-Chorus]
He’s a sitcom character who never knows his lines
But somehow still demands applause all the time
[Chorus]
Oh, he’s the Retard King of the wild, wild wrong
Rants so loud but the logic’s gone
Paper-thin pride and a temper that stings
Oh, hail the king of Retard things
Every meltdown’s like a comedy show
Facts hit him harder than a winter snow
He’s allergic to truth, like it’s poison or sting
Oh, all rise for the Retard King
[Bridge – 1 minute expansion]
Here’s to the man who fears a fact
Like it’s kryptonite ready to attack
Here’s to the guy who shouts “I’m right!”
While Google whispers, “Honey… not tonight.”
Here’s to the fables, the spin, the lies
The word salad falling from the sky
Here’s to the ego that could fill a plane
Yet somehow carries not one ounce of brain
Every rant is a gift, a comedic reward
A masterclass in being his own downfall lord
If clueless had a country, he’d be the flag
Flappin’ in the breeze on a used car rag
[Verse 3]
He’s swingin’ at shadows, barkin’ at ghosts
Ronald McDonald lookin’ at him like, “Bro, do the most.”
Every interview’s a gamble — jackpot or crash
Mostly crash, with a side of verbal whiplash
He rewrites history with crayons and glue
Then swears it’s “the best” like only he can do
He’s a walking punchline wrapped in a suit
Tryin’ to hide chaos under cheap spray-on “truth”
[Pre-Chorus]
And every time the truth taps him on the back
He files a complaint like it’s a sneak attack
[Chorus]
Oh, he’s the Retard King of the wild, wild wrong
Rants so loud but the logic’s gone
Paper-thin pride and a temper that stings
Oh, hail the king of Retard things
Every meltdown’s like a comedy show
Facts hit him harder than a winter snow
VeenixEev821
