Code Brown

Beat: Loud 808s, sirens, unnecessary foghorns, and a confused man yelling “WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!” in the background.)

(Ad-libs)

Huh? What?! (CODE BROWN!)

I just ate 15 tacos at a discount! (Big mistake!)

Now my stomach singing like it’s Motown! (Oh lawd!)

I just texted 911… they shut my phone down! (WHAT?!)

(Toilet flush sound effect)

Ain’t NO WAY… boy, I need help…

CODE BROWN! (Mayday!)

Tummy talkin’ like a DJ, spinnin’ round! (BRRRRR!).

CODE BROWN! (Help me!)

Bro, I swear my stomach barkin’ like a hound! (RUFF!)

CODE BROWN! (Red alert!)

I just blew the paint off all the walls at church! (Lord forgive me!)

CODE BROWN! (Somebody save me!)

Bro, my bathroom lookin’ like a crime scene lately! (CSI!)

I just hit up Taco Bell at 2 AM (Late night!)

Double beef, extra cheese… Lord, I sinned! (I repented!)

Now my stomach got me grippin’ on the sink (Too late!)

I just texted my whole family, said “Y’all pray for me.”

Bro, my insides doing acrobatics (Gymnastics!)

Doctor took one scan, said “Boy, you tragic.” (Yikes!)

Tried to hold it in, but my knees went weak

Now I’m waddlin’ like a penguin down the middle of the street! (Oh nooo!)

I just got fired, blew the bathroom up at work

Boss said, “This a lawsuit, boy, you made the pipes burst!”

I just called a priest ‘cause my toilet need an exorcist

Demon whisperin’ “You a menace, boy, look what you did.” (Aghhh!)

CODE BROWN! (Mayday!)

Tummy talkin’ like a DJ, spinnin’ round! (BRRRRR!).

CODE BROWN! (Help me!)

Bro, I swear my stomach barkin’ like a hound! (RUFF!)

CODE BROWN! (Red alert!)

I just blew the paint off all the walls at church! (Lord forgive me!)

CODE BROWN! (Somebody save me!)

Bro, my bathroom lookin’ like a crime scene lately! (CSI!)

I just wore white jeans to a cookout (Big mistake!)

One sip of sweet tea, now my booty bout to book out (Gotta go!)

I just used gas station sushi as a snack

Now my toilet holdin’ on like it’s under attack! (HOLD THE LINE!)

I just bet my homie I could hold it in all day

Five minutes later, I was cryin’ in the hallway! (MAMA!)

Tried to make it home, but I ain’t have a key

Now I’m knockin’ on my neighbor’s door like, “BRO, PLEASE!” (HELP ME!).

I just clogged three toilets in a single week (World record!)

Plumber pulled up, took one sniff, and called police (Nooo!)

He said, “Boy, what did you EAT?!” I said, “Don’t ask.”

Now I’m sittin’ in a cell with a half-wiped—AIGHT, SKIP THAT. (PAUSE!)

CODE BROWN! (Mayday!)

Tummy talkin’ like a DJ, spinnin’ round! (BRRRRR!).

CODE BROWN! (Help me!)

Bro, I swear my stomach barkin’ like a hound! (RUFF!)

CODE BROWN! (Red alert!)

I just blew the paint off all the walls at church! (Lord forgive me!)

CODE BROWN! (Somebody save me!)

Bro, my bathroom lookin’ like a crime scene lately! (CSI!)

(Over dramatic orchestra music)

• I just lost a pound in 15 seconds. (Guinness Book!)

• I just texted my mom, she said “STOP CONFESSIN’!” (Too much info!)

• I just gave my t