Thank you for taking care of the kids, the house, the meals, the cleaning, and everything you’ve done for our family. I’ve always appreciated those things, even if you don’t believe that. I’ve always been grateful for you, and I always will be. And thank you for everything else, too. Thank you for the times I tried to explain how I felt, only to walk away feeling misunderstood. Thank you for the times I gave reassurance and was told I never had. Thank you for the times I listened to your feelings and tried to care for them while feeling like my own feelings became secondary whenever I brought them up. Thank you for the apologies that never became lasting change. Thank you for expecting forgiveness while the same wounds kept reopening. Thank you for making me feel unheard, unseen, and alone. Thank you for the pettiness. Thank you for the misunderstandings that never seemed to get resolved. Thank you for making me feel like I was crazy for expressing what I was experiencing. Thank you for making me feel like the villain whenever I tried to explain my pain. Thank you for not seeing how much I changed, sacrificed, and worked to be better for you. Thank you for not acknowledging the effort I put into trying to save us. Thank you for not making the same effort in return. Thank you for the threats. Thank you for the times my explanations never mattered because your mind was already made up. Thank you for listening to how much I was hurting and then watching that hurt grow instead of heal. Thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for making me question myself. Thank you for making me feel isolated when all I wanted was to feel loved, understood, and safe with the person I chose. Most of all, thank you for teaching me that love cannot survive without accountability, mutual respect, empathy, and change from both people. I’ve spent a long time hoping things would be different. I’ve spent a long time believing that if I explained myself one more time, loved harder, gave more grace, or made more changes, things would improve. But I can’t carry this weight anymore. So thank you for the good memories, the lessons, and even the pain. Because the pain has finally taught me what I can no longer accept. Thank you for ignoring how hard I work. Thank you for seeing how exhausted I can be from work and still make being at home an uncomfortable warzone. Thank you for helping me realize that just because I love you doesn’t mean I have to keep taking the hurtful crap, made up stories, gaslighting, the belittling, the talking under your breath. Thank you for breaking me so much to the point where I don’t see a return from. And thank you for the hurtful messages you’re going to continue to send. I don’t get how someone could read my poems, say they understand me as a person but can not tell what they’ve been doing to me. I can’t take this hurt anymore. This excessive emotional abuse that has been ongoing since the start of our relationship. Maybe I needed to love more.
