Darkness within

A thousand thoughts, racing, pacing in my mind,

some of which I thought I left behind,

living, breathing, last breath, dead,

no-one can fathom what's going on in my head,

my thoughts are vivid and rapid but why are they there?

they bring nothing but hatred, anger and despair,

a head full of darkness, torment and pain,

my visions obscured with no-one to blame,

I don't understand, what have I done?

do I end this darkness at the barrel of a gun?

Alone in my room injecting needle to vein,

just so I can cope with the embarrassment and shame,

my body is numb as I lie on my bed,

inject a little bit more and I will finally be dead,

But upright I sit with eyes opened wide,

kill myself I will not, I have too much pride,

A voice keeps whispering take the easy road out,

but my inner spirit screams stand up stout,

don't be a victim to the demons within,

stamp down your authority with a mischievous grin,

you know you are stronger than the monsters that dwell,

so take control of your life and send them straight back to hell,

But the harder I try the fiercer they fight,

no matter how bright they extinguish the light,

go on, kill yourself, it's what you deserve,

your just a failure, a spasmodic nerve,

a bitter disappointment to those who you love,

so do them a favour and go to heaven above,

but according to you god is not there,

so the demons keep pulling you into their lair,

Then all of a sudden that inner fighter appears,

to cleanse this earthly vessel of unwanted fears,

but my struggle is real and hard to explain,

and next thing you know, it's darkness again