The War You Never Named

You looked at me like someone starving,

Then swore you never needed bread.

Built your house from locked-up silence,

Made your home inside your head.

You'd steal my jacket when it was freezing,

Walk me safely to my door.

Love was written in your actions,

Your lips just couldn't say the words.

You memorized the way I laughed,

The freckles dancing on my skin.

You held my soul with steady hands...

Then acted like you never did.

You called it timing.

You called it fear.

Anything but what was standing here.

'Cause loving me was never what you ran from,

You were running from the mirror in your eyes.

You could hold my hand until the sunrise,

But couldn't let your guarded heart decide.

You loved me in a hundred quiet languages,

None of them you'd ever speak out loud.

So I became the girl who loved you loudly...

While you kept whispering to the ground.

And I would've stayed forever,

If forever wasn't hiding behind your pride.

You'd smile before you even saw me,

Like your heart arrived first every time.

Everyone could read the story,

Except the author drawing every line.

You'd pull me close, then build a distance,

One more wall, another excuse.

I spent forever chasing answers

Inside a man afraid of the truth.

You said love only leaves in pieces.

I said maybe that's not always true.

But pain convinced you I was danger...

When all I ever did was choose you.

You swore you'd break me.

Maybe you were right.

Just not in the way you thought you might.

'Cause loving me was never what you ran from,

You were running from the echoes of your past.

Every time my heart got any closer,

You disappeared before it had the chance.

You kissed my forehead like a promise,

Then buried every promise in the dark.

I kept reaching for the man beneath the armor...

While the armor kept tearing us apart.

And I'd have held your shaking hands,

If you'd have let me fight beside your heart.

Maybe in another lifetime,

You'd believe you deserved a love that stayed.

Maybe I'd still be beside you,

Instead of learning how to walk away.

I wasn't asking you for perfect.

I wasn't asking you to heal overnight.

I just needed you to stop pretending

You felt nothing every time I caught your eyes.

You never lost me because you didn't love me.

You lost me because you couldn't believe

Someone actually could.

So I'll leave my name inside your silence,

Like a song you'll never quite forget.

You'll hear me in the empty spaces,

In every almost, every what-if left.

One day someone will say they love you,

And I wonder if you'll finally understand...

That the first time those words were ever honest,

You already had them in your hands.

I hope your heart forgives itself someday.

I hope mine learns not every battle's mine.

You were the love I never doubted...

Just the one who never stopped doubting

he was worthy of mine.

If your soul ever finds the courage

To meet mine where it used to stand...

You'll find I never walked away from loving you.

Only from waiting.