Been a long day

Im back to the start. With  A knife in the  heart. Why do i do what i do. Why do i say the things that i say. Its like my life is falling drifting away.  No where left to go  no where left to stay. Im so sick of the games we play. You complicate me yet you complete me. Im here felling alone lost completely. Why is it like this am i really bound to fail. Why am i like a train popping off of the rail. Outta control only my heart still yearns for you. I see you walk away and i feel its true.
Ive never been too good at goodbyes,
Usually imma ride or die type guy. This time im struggling to survive. This time im reaching for the sky. And i wonder why...is this really real.? Why do i feel the way i feel. Man in  the mirror says some
Trauma never heals.
Im in my mind thinking about the times that have passed. Does it have to end i thought forever we would last. Like if we only had a chance. But now im eating my words and bound to collapse.  I know its me you told me so . I told you it was you and you swore me off. Every fight picks up where the last one left. Repetition only requires resistance of death. Although right now im praying god willing take my life. i hate myself and what i say  when we fight. How and why would i ever try,  to hold in all of this hurt. I wish i knew how to love you baby for what its worth
Im back to the start. With  A knife in the  heart. Why do i do what i do. Why do i say the things that i say. Its like im failing in a bigger way.  Stuck within my mind now im  breaking molds and i keep feeling  hate. 
Ive never been too good at goodbyes,
Usually imma ride or die type guy. This time im struggling to survive. This time im reaching for the sky. And i wonder why...is this really real.? Why do i feel the way i feelThe hate i hold now is for me. I reserve the fact that i have to be.  The root of whats evil or so it seems. I get no release. Even the bag has changed like wass the deal. Just forgot   Why did this happened yet it all is real. Pouring out these feelings like  i cracked the seal. I hope it dont take too much time to heal. To be honest i take things to make you stay. Afraid to be alone so i know if part you is here hell you just may. Come back to collect and ill get to see you  on another day. Im sorry im like this and for the games i learned to play. Like when i push you off i need you in the worst way.  Let the world spin around us consume us in a rush. Reassure me with your touch. Im not good at goodbye so lets rethink and adjust. Id take it all back but i cant so i dont. I want to move forward together but you wont. Why am i stuck
In this standstill . Feels  like im stuck at the mother fucking landfill. Come on grab tight to my hand  if you will. Lets start this journey back up if you still. Are willing to stand by me so whats the deal. This life is hard for me to accept. Everyday complicates and then reflects. all the chemicals that i choose to inject. I guess you could say thats why i protest and demand my respect.

Rap with chanting in chorus place adlibs slower pace hiphop song heavy bass with cool melody