EVEN IN MY DREAMS

INTRO — HIM (melodic trap)

Yeah…

I fucking hate that I still love you.

Hate that my heart don’t listen to my pride.

I’d take you back knowing you’d break me again,

And that’s the part of me I fucking despise.

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VERSE 1 — HIM

Girl I fucking hate you,

’Cause even in my dreams you swear you love me, then you leave.

You promise you’ll change for me,

Then you show me you fucking won’t, you just repeat.

I lost sleep building us while you planned your escape,

Called me toxic when I asked why your words didn’t match.

I bled loyalty, you gave me doubt,

Fed me hope then pulled the rug when I figured you out.

I drank just to numb it, you smiled like you healed,

Posted like you were free while I couldn’t feel real.

You say I was the problem, say I pushed you away,

But you ran every time shit got honest or stayed.

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CHORUS — HIM

Girl I fucking hate you,

’Cause even in my dreams you say you love me, then you leave.

You tell me you’ll change for me,

Then you show me that you fucking won’t, yeah you repeat.

You held my heart like it was nothing,

Broke it slow and called it growth.

I wake up every night missing you,

And I hate myself for loving you the most.

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VERSE 2 — HIM (self-aware)

Truth is, I ain’t innocent, I know I had my flaws,

I loved you too aggressively, I broke my own laws.

I confused pain with passion, control with being scared,

Tried to save what was dying instead of letting it end there.

But don’t act like you were clueless, like you didn’t see me fall,

You watched me lose myself just to keep us involved.

I apologized a hundred times, you never did once,

You just moved on quietly and called that shit “growth.”

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BRIDGE — HIM (Russ-style reflection)

I recognize I loved you more than I loved myself,

Ignored every red flag sittin’ right on the shelf.

I recognize you loved the way I made you feel,

Not the man who stayed loyal when the shit got real.

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VERSE 3 — HIM (hurt + anger)

You don’t get to miss me now that I’m learning my worth,

Don’t get to text “I’m proud of you” after all that hurt.

You don’t get nostalgia without accountability,

You were a lesson, not my destiny.

You knew when to pull away, knew when to pull me close,

Kept me stuck in your cycle, that shit fucked me the most.

I stayed when it hurt, you left when it burned,

And somehow I’m still the one that never learned.

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FINAL CHORUS — HIM

Girl I fucking hate you,

’Cause even now my heart won’t let you go.

You taught me love can feel like hell,

But I survived you — and that shit made me grow.

You don’t get to love me halfway,

Don’t get to say my name.

I loved you more than you deserved,

And that’s the realest fucking pain.

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OUTRO — HIM (quiet, broken)

If you show up in my dreams again,

I won’t beg you to stay.

I’ll wake myself the fuck up…

And finally walk away.