“fuck love”
yeah…
it don’t hurt loud no more
it just sits there
—
i used to say your name
like it meant i was safe
like if everything else fell apart
at least you wouldn’t
but i was wrong about that
i was wrong about you
—
i gave you parts of me
i don’t even understand myself
the quiet parts
the overthinking
the nights i don’t sleep
the things i never say out loud
and you learned them
just enough
to leave
—
now it’s not heartbreak
it’s absence
it’s waking up
and not reaching for my phone
it’s silence
where your voice used to live
it’s realizing
i meant it
and you didn’t
—
(hook)
fuck love
it don’t feel like nothin’ now
gave it my all
still ended up fallin’ down
late nights
starin’ at the ceilin’ stuck
if this what love is
i don’t want it… fuck love
—
i don’t miss you
i miss who i was
when i believed you
there’s a difference
one hurts deeper
—
you didn’t break me all at once
you did it slow
in small ways
i kept ignorin’
in little moments
that didn’t feel right
in the way you stayed
just far enough
to never really be mine
—
and i stayed
knowing
that’s the part that gets me
—
(hook)
fuck love
i ain’t reachin’ out no more
every “forever”
just a word i ignore
rearview
full of things that never was
drivin’ through ghosts…
yeah, fuck love
—
now i move different
not colder
just aware
i don’t trust easy
don’t fall fast
don’t believe words
without weight behind ‘em
—
they say time heals
but all it really did
was show me
how much of it
i wasted
—
yeah…
fuck love
not ‘cause i hate it
but ‘cause i finally see it
for what it is
—
and i ain’t blind anymore
joshmcgrath2099
