Letter to Suicide Hotline

(9-1-1, what's your emergency?)

(My boyfriend...Oh, god)

(Ma'am I need you to calm down, what happened?)

(My boyfriend shot himself!)

I need to let you go but I can't because you let go first

Nothing could've saved you but I should've been the one to

Draw you in

Keep you out

Hold your hand and kiss your mouth

Make your pain disappear

Make you smile again and reappear

Again and again I wish I'd seen the signs and heard the lies

Seen your eyes when you cried

But now you're gone and I'm all alone

I know you're free, my friend, but now that you're gone

I wish I'd been with you and be gone

I shout your name

To the world

I will proclaim

That I loved you first when no one else did

You killed yourself

Now I'm to blame

I'll shut my mouth

To hide my pain

And hide the scars

That you gave!

I hated you

For what you do

For who you were

But now you're just a blur

And I'm just a face

I hate myself

And I suppose you felt the same

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you!

I shout your name

To the world

I will proclaim

That I loved you first when no one else did

You killed yourself

Now I'm to blame

I'll shut my mouth

To hide my pain

And hide the scars

That you gave!

Why was it you?

Why not me?

I'll call your name

From past the grave