[Intro – sultry voice, drumbeat underneath, talking tone]
Alright… alright… listen up.
I’m here to open your eyes…
So take notes — you might actually learn something.
⸻
[Verse 1]
You walk in talking like you’ve closed the whole town
Big talk, but your numbers are running you down
Name-dropping streets like you own the block
But the “sold” signs fade when the market stops
You boast like the deal’s already done
Chest out high like you’ve already won
But if your empire was really that tall
You wouldn’t be here at all
[Pre-Chorus – build with bass + toms]
I’m not your therapist, I’m not your friend
I’m the reason your dry streak ends
You’re not the headline — I’m the news
The best thing here… is I’m talking to you
[Chorus – gang vocals, stompy beat]
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For taking this call
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For breaking your stall
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For giving you game
When your whole brand’s in the Hall of Shame
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For showing you how
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
So sign it right now
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
I’ll make you look prime
But stop wasting my— stop wasting my time!
[Verse 2]
You’ve been “thinking” for weeks on end
While your pipeline’s circling the bend
You’ve got your nephew “building you a site”
That might be done by 2099
You “don’t believe in paying fees”
But you’ll blow it all on Zillow leads
And you wonder why you can’t be found
When you’ve got no brand around
[Pre-Chorus – build again]
I’m not your maybe, I’m not your “one day”
I’m the reason you’ll get paid today
You’re not the headline — I’m the news
The best thing here… is I’m talking to you
[Chorus – gang vocals - no sound except bass drum for anthem]
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For taking this call
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For breaking your stall
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For giving you game
When your whole brand’s in the Hall of Shame
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For showing you how
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
So sign it right now
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
I’ll make you look prime
But stop wasting my— stop wasting my time!
[Bridge – half-spoken, background percussion building up fast]
Rule one: You’re not special.
Rule two: That free site is killing you.
Rule three: If you think you don’t need me…
You’re wrong.
⸻
[Final Chorus – all-out shouting, big gang vocals LOUD INSTRUMENTS AND VOCALS]
You’re welcome! (HEY!]
For taking this call
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For breaking your stall
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For giving you game
When your whole brand’s in the Hall of Shame
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
For showing you how
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
So sign it right now
You’re welcome! (HEY!)
I’ll make you look prime
But stop wasting my— stop wasting my time!
[Outro – stomp stomp clap, sneer]
Yeah… you’re welcome.
