Haunted

Why does forever mean forever

When it’s better, but not for worse

Finding greener pastures in another

Instead of watering ours first

You said you’d always be there

Deep down I always knew

That you never played fair

Your words were never true

Now I stand in place

In the deafening silence

And there is no trace

Of my self-reliance

You cut my vocal chords

With a sharp and callous tongue

I close my eyes and plug my ears

But I’m still haunted by your years

I muddle through each day

With not much more to say

Than “Hello” and “How are you?”

As I wither, decay, and drift away

I lay in the dark each night

Awaiting sleep, death or come what might

Intrusive thoughts make their pitch

For a limited lifetime membership

Someone said you were happy now

I pray it’s all you hoped for

I’m doing as well as trauma will allow

But there’s a voice I can’t ignore

It says the scars won’t fade and the pain won’t end

I wear this mask each day and I play pretend

It says you’ll die alone, and maybe that’s true

I know I’ll live out my days without my forever you

Now I stand in place

In the deafening silence

And there is no trace

Of my self-reliance

You cut my vocal chords

With a sharp and callous tongue

I close my eyes and plug my ears

But I’m still haunted by your years

Now I stand in place

In the deafening silence…