Cycle Wars

[Verse 1 – R&B]
Nurse said, “Breathe in”
cold gel on my skin
screen turned, eyes thin
“I don’t see much in there”
Last week, two blue lines
you clapped, I cried
now I’m back on this vinyl chair
asking, “How is this fair?”
You said, “It’s common, you’re young”
like I’m overreacting, overstrung
you wrote “cramps” where I said “knives”
like I’ve lied my whole life
[Chorus – R&B]
This is my body
not a theory in your file
I’ve been bleeding through the days
through the bedsheets, through the smiles
Don’t say “maybe next time”
while I’m breaking on this floor
I’ve been pregnant, then not
I’m done fighting this alone in these cycle wars
These cycle wars (oh)
these cycle wars
[Verse 2 – Rap]
Look
Woke up on the bathroom tiles
clenched fists, white lips, cold sweat, eight miles
curled up, counting every wave of the pain
called work, called mom, called out your name
Emergency room, that fluorescent shame
“Rate it one to ten”
I said, “Twenty out of frame”
They said, “Period, probably”
tossed pills like a hobby
sent me home with a shrug
and a brochure in the lobby
You ever bleed through your jeans on a bus ride
pretend it’s fine, hoodie round the waist, swallowed pride?
You ever read the forums at 3 a.m.
like, “Is this in my head, is it me, is it them?”
Doctor to doctor like bad dates
“Have you tried yoga?”
“Lose a little weight?”
I want a scan, not sage advice
I want answers, not rolled eyes
[Chorus – R&B]
This is my body
not a theory in your file
I’ve been bleeding through the days
through the bedsheets, through the smiles
Don’t say “maybe next time”
while I’m breaking on this floor
I’ve been pregnant, then not
I’m done fighting this alone in these cycle wars
These cycle wars (yeah)
these cycle wars
[Bridge – R&B + Rap]
[R&B]
I kept baby names in my notes
while you circled “maybe” in quotes
Every month a question mark
on a stick in the dark
[Rap]
One line
two lines
hope climbs
hope dives
Call the clinic, “It’s faint but it’s there”
then the crimson comes, and they act like it’s air
Chemical, technical, terms like a cage
I’m grieving a heartbeat you never put on a page
You say “try again”
I say “sign the test”
Write the word down, say it with your chest
[Chorus – R&B]
This is my body
not a theory in your file
I’ve been bleeding through the days
through the bedsheets, through the smiles
Don’t say “maybe next time”
while I’m screaming in this war
I’ve been pregnant, then not
I am done being ignored in these cycle wars
These cycle wars (oh)
these cycle wars
[Outro – R&B]
So listen when I say it hurts
write it like my pain has worth
Say the name, draw the lines
treat my future like it’s mine
This is my body, not your folklore
I’m not crazy, I’m a soldier
in these cycle wars

rap, Moody R&B hook over head-nodding boom-bap, female vocals in the lead and a guest female rapper trading verses. Sparse piano and warm pads in the verses; chorus blooms with stacked harmonies, subby bass, and roomy drums. Energy builds from resigned frustration to fierce resolve, final hook strips back to vocal and piano for a raw, intimate close., r&b