Growing Pains

I used to think by twenty-two

I'd have the answers, know what to do

But now I’m staring at the ceiling

And all I feel is too much feeling

Bills stack up like paper walls

Dreams feel big, but I feel small

Everyone says "this is life"

But no one warns you 'bout the nights

Where silence gets loud

And doubts start to crowd

And the child in me’s still asking how

Welcome to adulthood, here’s your fear and freedom

Pick a path, make it last, but don’t ask for reasons

Fake a smile, shake a hand, act like you believe in

The plans you made at seventeen

But nothing’s quite the way it seemed

It's beautiful and hard and strange

These growing pains

I miss the days I couldn’t wait

To grow up, now I hesitate

No map, no guide, just expectation

And a quiet kind of isolation

Friends are moving, time moves fast

Mom keeps saying, “This won’t last”

But I still sleep with lights half on

And wonder where my youth has gone

I’m not a kid, I’m not quite whole

Just learning how to lose control

And call it growth, and call it soul

Welcome to adulthood, here’s your fear and freedom

Pick a path, make it last, but don’t ask for reasons

Fake a smile, shake a hand, act like you believe in

The plans you made at seventeen

But nothing’s quite the way it seemed

It's beautiful and hard and strange

These growing pains

And no one really has it figured out

We’re all just trying not to drown

In rent and debt and quiet doubt

But somehow we still get around

Paychecks, heartbreaks

Sunday night mind aches

Losing touch, letting go

Learning things you didn’t know

Lonely birthdays, crowded trains

But still, we try again

Welcome to adulthood, here’s your fear and freedom

Hold your breath, do your best, even if you’re bleeding

Chase a dream, break it down, start again repeating

The plans you made at seventeen

Rewrite them when you’re feeling seen

It’s messy love and quiet change

These growing pains

Yeah, we grow through pain

But maybe that’s okay

I’m still learning how to bend

Without breaking all the way

Some days I fake the light

Some nights I lose the fight

But I keep waking up again

Trying to make it make sense

I talk to old friends less

Scroll through memories I miss

And wonder if I’m doing this right

Or just surviving day to night

And maybe growing up

Is just learning not to run

From the silence, from the cracks

From the weight upon your back

So here’s to all the in-between

The not-yet and the used-to-be

I don’t have it figured out

But I’m still here, and that’s allowed

Yeah, we grow through pain

And I’m growing all the same