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Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Did my best, guess my best ain’t shit
Got your voice in my head sayin’, “kid, that’s it”
Grandma in a bed, eyes closed, that’s it
Whole world turned grey, then it turned to spit
Hallway laughs, they don’t know my name
They just know my scars and my walk of shame
“Kill yourself” typed out in a bright blue frame
I hit save on the pic, tryna freeze the pain
Hood up, headphones, walking through hell
Every locker like a cell, every stare a shell
“Why you so quiet, you weird as well?”
’Cause I’m talkin’ to a ghost that I can’t repel
[Chorus]
I’m so fucked up, I can’t cope
Every breath feel heavy like a rope
Grandma, I’m lost, I got no hope
Ashes in my throat, ashes in my throat
I’m so fed up, I might choke
Whole damn world treat me like a joke
If I disappear, will they even know?
Ashes in my throat, ashes in my throat (yeah)
[Verse 2]
Told my boys “I’m tired,” they said “same” then laughed
They don’t see the note ripped up in the trash
They don’t see me scroll searchin’ “easiest path”
They just see memes, they don’t see the crash
Mom’s eyes red, but she never did ask
She just pour another drink, let time go past
I’m the ghost in the house with a backpack mask
Smile in the pics, middle finger to the glass
“Grow a pair, lil bitch,” echo in the gym
Punches in the back where the lights go dim
I stare at the floor, tryin’ not to swim
In the thought that the world’d be fine if I’m slim
[Chorus]
I’m so fucked up, I can’t cope
Every breath feel heavy like a rope
Grandma, I’m lost, I got no hope
Ashes in my throat, ashes in my throat
I’m so fed up, I might choke
Whole damn world treat me like a joke
If I disappear, will they even know?
Ashes in my throat, ashes in my throat
[Bridge]
Talkin’ to the ceiling like, “Are you there?” (are you there?)
If I step off the edge, will you care? (will you care?)
Hear your voice in my ear sayin’ “breathe, don’t dare”
“Baby, you’re the reason that I stayed in prayer”
So I scream “fuck you” to the ones who laugh
And “I miss you” to the one in the photograph
Blade to my arm, then I pull that back
’Cause I hear your laugh cut through my collapse
[Chorus]
I’m so fucked up, but I cope
Every breath still heavy like a rope
Grandma, I’m lost, but I hold hope
Ashes in my throat, singin’ when I choke
I’m so fed up, but I won’t go
Middle finger up to every “kid, you’re broke”
If I’m still here, yeah, you made it so
Ashes in my throat, but I won’t let go
Details
GeneratedFeb 1, 2026
Duration3:20
LanguageEnglish
Style
rap, Dark ambient-trap hybrid with distorted rock guitars and male vocals; spacious pads and sub-heavy 808s under a slow, swung drum groove. Verses stay intimate with close-mic whisper-rap, then guitars explode on the hook with blown-out drums and layered, half-screamed ad-libs. Reverb-drenched lead lines and occasional glitchy vocal chops heighten the sense of collapse, then the outro pulls back to a single guitar loop and fading pads., lyrical, ambient, rock
Credits
Prompt byBigDeac
ModelAria v5
Prompt
rap, ambient, trap, lots of swearing, rock, lyrical, a song about wanting to commit suicide after the death of my grandma and all the bullying I go through
