Never see me

I remember all the faces

And all the stuff they said

Even the conversations

We had in the early A.M.

When we were off our heads

All the promises they made

And the bullshit that they said

If I only knew then

What I’ve grown to know now

Would I be a different person

Than I am today?

Do I change who I’ve become

To accommodate their pain?

Even though they never cared

About the strain on me

The weight that’s stacked on me

The pressure that I feel

It’s gonna end up breaking me

So I hide it all inside

They’ll never see me

Not like I see you

They’ll never know me

The way I wanted to

I never meant for them

To carry my pain

I was just trying

To survive the same

Some days I still replay it all

The weight, the hurt, the bends

I learned to swallow every word

And let the silence pretend

But I am more than what broke first

More than the lines they read

More than the pieces I held back

When I was barely standing

I wore the quiet like a mask

I smiled through the hardest parts

But every scar still had a voice

And every night, it pulled apart

I kept it buried in my chest

So no one else would feel that bruise

I never asked for any of this

I only tried to make it through

They’ll never see me

Not like I see you

They’ll never know me

The way I wanted to

I never meant for them

To carry my pain

I was just trying

To survive the same

If you could hear what I left out

If you could feel what I concealed

You’d know I never asked for this

I only wanted to heal

And if the mask falls off tonight

Let it fall, let it break

I’m still here beneath the cracks

Still trying to stay awake

They’ll never see me

Not like I see you

They’ll never know me

The way I wanted to

I never meant for them

To carry my pain

I was just trying

To survive the same