Familiar Enough to Ignore 1

I know this map by heart  
and still pretend I’m lost  

you called out  
and I didn’t stop  



I listened to your call  
then brushed it off  

I’ve walked this path before  
but I move straight ahead  



I stayed busy on purpose  
kept my hands full  

so your call couldn’t reach me  
just let myself fall  



I was listening earlier  
when you were inside of my head  

now it’s replaced with  
self-spite  



I heard your call  
but I called it a night  

I kicked the dirt  
and then shrugged it off  



I hurt myself  
laughed it off  

you called out again  
I dismissed it  

and moved on  



I turned up the volume  
covered my ears  

wouldn’t listen  

when you tried  
to get me to hear  



I look at the map upside down  
act like it’s not  

I stay lost  
ignore your call  



I stayed there  

knowing I shouldn’t have stayed there at all  

I knew I was  
avoiding your call  



I looked at the stars  
knew it was you  

and didn’t stop  

I logged it as familiar  
not urgent  

I didn’t slow down  



I turned the blade inward  
and called it proof  

I kept choosing the wound  
so I wouldn’t have to choose you  



I made the wound first  
so the outcome stayed mine  

your call went unanswered  
I told myself that’s fine  



I knew if I stopped  
something would change  

so I kept moving  
and called it discipline  



I paused long enough  
to feel it  

you called out again  
I chose not to listen  

even as the call  
got loud  



I felt the hit  
of your call  

kept quiet  

you called out again  
I swallowed my words  

and turned my head  



I let bitterness steer  
and called it direction  

I stayed with the damage  
to feel in control  

I let spite answer  
and left your call  
unanswered  



I left early on purpose  
so I wouldn’t hear you  

I kept moving  
and didn’t look back

vocals raw female spoken broken phrasing human drift drums sparse uneven stops bass slow acoustic minimal fixed form set