Lying to myself

[Verse 1]
I was sober
Not drinking, no sipping bottles for me
Held it together
Told myself that’s who I should be
I made it four months
White knuckles and shaking hands
Thought I was better
But I never had a plan

[Chorus]
Four months later
Thought I was fine
Maybe I lied to myself
One night, one glass
And I crossed that line
Now it’s easier to numb than to feel
Even if it’s not ideal
I told myself I'd quit again
But I don’t think I will
Thought I was fine
Maybe I lied to myself

[Verse 2]
Friends keep asking
“Don’t you miss the way it felt?”
Yeah, I do, but
This burn is the only peace I’ve held
I’m tired of fighting
The voice that calls me back
So here I am
Falling off the track

[Chorus]
Four months later
Thought I was strong
Maybe I lied to myself
Played the part, sang the song
But I never left that hell
And maybe that’s just who I am
A broken man with shaking hands
I said I’d get clean again
But I don’t think I can
Thought I was fine
Maybe I lied to myself

[Bridge]
Not every story ends in light
Some just drift into the night
And maybe that’s alright
For me

[Final Chorus]
Four months later
I’m back where I began
No more lies to myself
No more trying to pretend
If this is my truth
Let it be known
Some of us never
Make it home
I thought I was fine
Maybe I lied to myself