Loop My Own Downfall

[Intro]
Every time I say I'm changing
I just sharpen up the blade
Set alarms for my redemption
Sleep right through them anyway
[Verse 1]
Wake up
Same stain on the ceiling
Same pit
Same sick little feeling
Tell myself, "This time, different"
Then I scroll till my soul going missing
Burn bridges just to feel that heat
Watch them fall like I planned defeat
Text back when I shouldn't, deep night
Then regret in the harsh blue light
Say I quit, then I sip, then I slip (yeah)
Turn a crack to a chasm I trip
I know the script, know the twist, know the fall
Still I sprint for the edge every call
[Chorus]
I keep losing the same way
Bleeding on the same blade
Running in the same maze
(yeah, I do it again, again)
Promise I will change soon
Circle like a black moon
Praying for a breakthrough
Then I ruin it again, again
[Verse 2]
Therapist asking me, "Why that choice?"
I laugh, dodge, throw jokes at my voice
Turn pain into punchline quick
Anything so I don't sit with it
Answer calls from the ghosts I blocked
Invite them back, hand over the lock
Mess up fresh trust just to feel that sting
Tear good things from the root, then sing
I write plans in a clean new notebook
By the week it's a gravestone, closed shut
I know better, but I crave that crash
Like I need the wreck more than I need the path
[Chorus]
I keep losing the same way
Bleeding on the same blade
Running in the same maze
(yeah, I do it again, again)
Promise I will change soon
Circle like a black moon
Praying for a breakthrough
Then I ruin it again, again
[Bridge]
What if I liked this hurt?
What if I'm scared of peace?
What if I pull my own wings off
Just to prove I'm meant to sink?
Ask myself
Then I kill the thought
Turn the volume up
Let the lesson rot
[Chorus]
I keep losing the same way
Bleeding on the same blade
Running in the same maze
(yeah, I do it again, again)
Promise I will change soon
Circle like a black moon
Praying for a breakthrough
Then I ruin it again, again (again)
(again, again)

rap, Dark ambient rap with male vocals; distant, detuned pads and a slow, dragging kick pattern, sub bass pulsing like a migraine. Verses close-mic and confessional with whispered doubles, chorus drowns in spacious reverb and filtered delays that smear the syllables. Occasional distorted risers swell into brief bursts of saturation, then collapse back to hollow, cold silence., ambient, dark ambient