First Goodbye

We were kids in the cafeteria

Sneakers squeak, metal chairs, bad cereal

You drew hearts in my math book margin

Told me secrets you swore were martian

First bus ride home, shared one earbud

You laughed hard when the chorus hit the wrong chord

Hands brushed once, you froze, I noticed

Whole world shrank to the space you folded

We planned lives on cracked-screen phones

New last names, one small home

I kept every text like a holy script

Didn’t know how fast it could all run off the cliff

Losing my first love felt like fire in the snow

Burned so bright, then it melted through my bones

You were my always, now you’re just a ghost I know

Losing my first love, losing my first home

Can’t go back to the boy I was before

You walked out that door

Senior year hit, you changed your hair

Started talking ‘bout cities way out there

College maps taped up on your walls

I was stuck in a town with peeling halls

You said “maybe we just need distance”

I heard “baby, you’re not in the plans this instant”

Fought it hard, then the fights got harder

“Who are you?” every week, new armor

One last drive in your dad’s old car

Windows fogged, but we saw every scar

You cried first, then my pride broke later

Said “it’s fine” when I knew I’d hate her

Losing my first love felt like fire in the snow

Burned so bright, then it melted through my bones

You were my always, now you’re just a ghost I know

Losing my first love, losing my first home

Can’t go back to the boy I was before

You walked out that door

Now every girl asks, “why you so guarded?”

‘Cause the first one left and the floor departed

I laugh it off, say “I’m just cautious” (yeah)

But I still see your face in every August

Old hoodie in a box, still smells like you

Tried to throw it out, couldn’t see it through

First cut carves the deepest groove

I healed, but I don’t quite move

Losing my first love felt like fire in the snow

Burned so bright, then it melted through my bones

You were my always, now you’re just a ghost I know

Losing my first love, losing my first home

Can’t go back to the boy I was before

You walked out that door (yeah)

Losing my first love, that’s what the tears were for