No One Was Fooled

I thought I wrapped it tight, kept it out of view,

Built careful little habits around what was true.

I rehearsed my lines, wore the right disguise,

Never noticed how it showed in my voice and in my eyes.

I thought I had a secret, something only mine,

Hidden in the pauses, buried between the lines.

But everyone around me could see it clear,

I was the only one pretending here.

I practiced all the words, night after night,

Convincing myself I’d blurred them just right.

Changed the subject, laughed a second too soon,

Didn’t notice the soft pity fill the room.

I thought I had a secret, locked deep inside,

Carefully guarded, nowhere to hide.

But every look told me what I wouldn’t admit,

They all knew the truth while I wrestled with it.

Now I see how heavy that silence had been,

All that effort just to try to look the same

Strange kind of relief when the pretending ends,

Letting go of a secret everyone saw, everyone saw, everyone saw, everyone saw