So Many Things

[Verse 1]
She said don’t come around today
Like my tears gon’ ruin everything
Like I ain’t know the real you
Before the chains and wedding rings

You were calling me past midnight
Breathing heavy on FaceTime
Said you hated going home
Now I gotta grieve from the outside

[Pre-Chorus]
And it’s crazy how they paint it
Like I was somebody you played with
When I was your first love, I’m your son’s mom, the name you got tattooed on your heart


Now She won’t let me come to the funeral
‘Cause she know what we really was
I held you down when your world fell apart
Before the money, before the drugs

And I can’t even touch your hand now
Can’t say goodbye with your family ‘round
So I’m crying in the backseat alone
listening to every voicemail you left on my phone

[Verse 2]
Your friends acting like they miss you
But they never stayed when it got bad
I remember pulling glass from your heart
After fights with your dad

She won’t never know how we struggled,

How much we helped each other,
Nobody else could ever love me,
The way you did before

[Bridge]
I wasn’t perfect, but I loved you hard

Stayed in the deep when it got too dark

Endured all I could take,

Now I’m outside with these flowers dying

While she playing wife to the man that I love,

[Chorus]
She won’t let me come to the funeral
‘Cause she know what we really was
I held you down when your world fell apart
Before the money, before the drugs

And I can’t even touch your hand now
Can’t say goodbye with your family ‘round
So I’m crying in the backseat alone
listening to every voicemail you left on my phone

[Bridge]
So many things I should’ve said,

Maybe I shouldn’t have put you out,
Still in love and I can’t hide it,

Now it’s over and too late,

So many things I should’ve said,

Why didn’t he just listen?

He couldn’t trust in his woman,

Men trust in your woman,

‘If you have a good woman,

She’ll tell you the truth,

There’s nothing but death in these streets,

So many things I should’ve said,

Why didn’t he just listen?

Your hoodie still folded on my dresser
Smell like smoke and that cheap cologne forever
Everybody posting you like they knew you
But they ain’t hold you together

You used to break down in my kitchen
Trauma all in your system
I was loving you through addictions
Now I’m grieving with no permission

[outro]
And maybe I should hate you
For leaving me here this way
But love don’t turn off that easy
Even after the grave
She won’t let me come to the funeral
But I’m still yours if heaven let you through
And if souls really circle back around
Find me, baby, I’ll still choose you

Don’t you know that I’ll still choose you,

Baby I’ll still choose you,