Painfully self aware by extra_unbearable - Zona

Painfully self aware by extra_unbearable - Zona

Lyrics

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**[Verse 1]**

I used to flinch every time you went quiet

Read the room like it owed me answers

Built a whole disaster in my head

Just to feel prepared for abandonment

I thought loving you meant staying alert

Like if I blinked, you’d disappear

Turns out I was guarding the door

While the room stayed exactly the same

Funny how fear keeps you busy

But boredom makes it obvious

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**[Pre-Chorus]**

I didn’t notice the shift

I didn’t feel the break

I just woke up one day

And nothing felt at stake

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**[Chorus]**

I was scared you’d leave me

Never thought I’d be the one going

Attachment wrote the script

Abandonment drove the motion

You didn’t do anything wrong

You just never moved

And the more I learn about you

The less I want to know the truth

I’m not heartbroken

I’m just bored

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**[Verse 2]**

We looped the same conversations

Like reruns nobody chose

Called it comfort, called it stable

But it felt like background noise

This monotonous way of living

Is crawling under my skin

I don’t have the energy to argue

Or pretend this still means something

You stayed the same and called it peace

I outgrew it and called it cruel

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**[Pre-Chorus]**

I kept mistaking familiarity

For depth

Kept confusing proximity

With connection

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**[Chorus]**

I was scared you’d leave me

Never thought I’d be the one done

I carried all the tension

While you called it “just us”

You didn’t hurt me, didn’t cheat

Didn’t cross a line or two

You just stayed exactly who you were

While I kept moving through

I’m not devastated

I’m disengaged

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**[Bridge]**

I feel emotionally catfished

Like the profile didn’t lie

It just never updated

While the years went by

It’s like living in a room

That smells like old beer and regret

Laughing ‘cause it’s funny

Till you realize you’re still there

I slummed it long enough

Called survival a phase

But I need a way out now

Before I rot in the same place

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**[Outro]**

I don’t hate you

I don’t blame you

I just can’t stay entertained

I used to fear being left behind

Now I’m the one walking away

Not dramatic

Not tragic

Just done pretending this is growth

I didn’t lose you

I outgrew the room

And I’m finally leaving it cold.