Turned away from heavens door

Turned Away at Heaven’s Door

I stood at the gate where the golden light pours,

Breath shallow and still—knocking softly on doors.

No pain, no weight, no time to keep,

Just a hush in the stars and a pull so deep.

The warmth, it held me, like arms long known,

A whispering wind, a calling home.

Angels wept in songs so sweet,

And peace rose gently at my feet.

But I was turned, not taken in—

A silent nod, a breath within.

“You’re not yet done,” the voice replied,

As Heaven’s gates swung closed and wide.

I woke to wires and plastic light,

The sterile sting of endless night.

Hands that prayed and voices cried—

They cheered the day I never died.

But I mourn the death that never came,

And feel the echo of my name

Still spoken soft beyond the veil,

Where sorrow ends and love prevails.

They say I’m blessed to draw this breath,

To wrestle time, to walk from death—

Yet every joy feels thin and cold,

Compared to peace I once did hold.

I still find joy in life, it’s true—

A sunrise sky, a laugh or two.

But strife remains, and deep inside,

I ache for what I touched, then died.

No bills, no stress, no endless fight—

Just perfect peace, eternal light.

No drama, none of life’s cruel test…

And part of me still longs for rest.

Life just isn’t what it was before,

An ache that lingers at my core.

I wrestle with the silent cry—

Why I’m still here, while others die.

So if you find me lost in thought,

Know it’s not life that I forgot.

It’s just that Heaven felt like mine—

And now I drift, waiting in line.