Fed Up With This Room

Same four walls

Same cold coffee on the desk

Scrolling through the mess again

Heart feels heavy in my chest

Every plan

Crumbled in my shaky hands

Talk myself in circles till

I don’t even understand

I’m so fed up with this room

With my thoughts

With this mood

All this alone-ness in my lungs

Breathing in the same old gloom

I’m so tired of this fight

Of pretending I’m all right

If I scream into the dark

Will it ever hit the light? (hey!)

Call my friends

Type a message

Then delete

Don’t wanna be the weight they drag

Through another endless week

Blank TV

Flickers on a silent stand

Wish somebody

Anybody

Would just come and take my hand

I’m so fed up with this room

With my thoughts

With this mood

All this alone-ness in my lungs

Breathing in the same old gloom

I’m so tired of this fight

Of pretending I’m all right

If I scream into the dark

Will it ever hit the light? (oh, will it?)

Maybe tomorrow

I open the door

Step out the hallway

Feet on the floor

Tiny rebellion

Just breathing the air

Telling the mirror

“I’m still here

I swear”

I’m so fed up with this room

With my thoughts

With this mood

All this alone-ness in my lungs

Breathing in the same old gloom

I’m so tired of this fight

But I’m walking toward the light

If I shake the silent walls

Maybe I can feel alive (alive)