Trying to forgive you

Verse 1

I was only seven when the pictures came down

Mama cried quietly when you weren’t around

The house got so empty, the nights got so long

And somehow our family felt all wrong

My twin sister held my hand through the pain

My big brother tried to smile through the rain

We were just kids trying to understand

Why another woman mattered more than your own family did

Pre-Chorus

I heard promises break through bedroom walls

Watched Mama stand back up after every fall

And I still don’t know how she stayed so strong

When everything we knew was gone

Chorus

I’m trying to forgive you for the tears she cried

For the nights she stayed awake asking herself why

For the cheating, the leaving, the words unsaid

For all the dreams that ended when you walked away instead

I’m trying to forgive you for the hurt you left behind

For my twin and my brother and this heart of mine

But it’s hard to understand what I’m still going through

When it always felt like everyone came before us but you

Verse 2

Every time we’d start to think we’d get you back

There was somebody new taking up your path

Another name, another face, another goodbye

While we kept wondering why we weren’t enough to make you stay

Birthdays came and holidays passed

We learned not to expect too much to last

And Mama picked up every piece you dropped

While we watched her love us with all she got

Pre-Chorus

I don’t hate you, though some days I could

I’m just a little girl wishing you had been good

Wishing family had come first in your eyes

Instead of another temporary life

Chorus

I’m trying to forgive you for the tears she cried

For the nights she stayed awake asking herself why

For the cheating, the leaving, the words unsaid

For all the dreams that ended when you walked away instead

I’m trying to forgive you for the hurt you left behind

For my twin and my brother and this heart of mine

But it’s hard to understand what I’m still going through

When it always felt like everyone came before us but you

Bridge

Maybe forgiveness isn’t saying what you did was right

Maybe it’s putting down the anger I’ve carried all my life

Maybe it’s loving who I am without carrying your mistakes

Maybe it’s learning some hearts are too broken to change

And maybe one day I’ll stop asking why

Maybe one day these tears will finally dry

But tonight I’m still that little girl inside

Looking for her father in the dark

Final Chorus

I’m trying to forgive you, though the scars remain

Though some memories still bring back the pain

And I pray someday I’ll find the strength to do

What Mama somehow found the courage to

I’ll always love the father that I wished you’d be

Even if that’s not the man I got to see

And though the hurt is something I’ll always carry through

I’m still trying to forgive you…

I’m still trying to forgive you

Outro

A little girl shouldn’t have to choose

Between loving her father and healing her wounds…

But I’m trying…

I’m still trying…

To forgive you.