Tummy Tuck Starchy

Ayo…

Some people hit the gym…

Some people drink water…

Steve Starchy said “nah, cut me open like a calzone.”

Steve Satsrchy spent sixty grand,

Tryna turn spaghetti into a fitness plan,

Big ol’ stomach got folded like laundry,

Now he walk around smug like “ladies, want me?”

Doctors look exhausted, nurses need breaks,

Steve scheduling surgeries like birthday cakes,

People terrified of scalpels and pain,

This dude treat anesthesia like a private jet plane.

Used to inhale garlic bread by the crate,

Now he post gym selfies talkin’ “discipline, mate.”

Discipline? Nah, Steve bought the shortcut pass,

Paid deluxe edition to uninstall fat.

He had a belly so big when he dropped his phone,

Took three business days to hear it hit home,

Now he skinny jeans struttin’ with a spray-on tan,

Built like a melted candle with confidence spam.

Italian uncle energy turned supervillain,

Chest hair waving like it got its own citizenship,

He flirt with girls using Temu pickup lines,

Teeth whiter than the headlights on a 2009.

Steve Starchy spent sixty grand,

Turned his torso into a construction plan,

People in recovery praying they survive,

Steve woke up asking “Doc, do my abs look alive?”

Everybody scared when they wheel in the knife,

Steve brought a playlist and booked it twice,

Now he flex online with motivational quotes,

Still wheeze laughin’ after two garlic knots.

He got liposuction, tummy tuck too,

Probably asked the surgeon for a loyalty coupon,

Face pulled tighter than plastic wrap,

Smile lookin’ like his ears got kidnapped.

Man bought jawlines, cheekbones, chin,

Still can’t fix the cringe underneath the skin,

Walk in the club with a silk Versace vest,

Looking like a nightclub magician under stress.

Used to eat cannolis four at a time,

Now he order sparkling water acting refined,

But deep down Steve still dreamin’ at night,

About mozzarella sticks in fluorescent light.

Snip snip…

Zip zip…

Steve turned himself into a Groupon trip,

Recovery nurse said “sir, please sit still,”

He asked “can you make me look like Vin Diesel?”

Steve Starchy spent sixty grand,

Still got rejected by a girl named Anne,

Whole body rebuilt like a crashed Fiat,

But the personality update never got patched.

People fear surgery, trauma, and scars,

Steve collecting procedures like Pokémon cards,

Now he standin’ there lean with designer shoes,

Still shaped emotionally like beef ravioli, dude.

Yeah…

Can’t liposuction bad decisions…

Can’t tummy tuck insecurity…

Steve Starchy…

The six-million-dollar meatball.arrrr yeah Jack Majic productions