MoreUnNoteverless

the way my voice tightens just so, not to be heard is a blessing not to have 
a familiar pattern woven 
into the easy tapestry of our days
End
a slight chill in the warmth 
Bi-polar
of a shared glance, NO
something I dismissed, MY LIFE
a trick of the light perhaps. GLITCHES
 
But the shadow grew, 
or maybe I simply began to see 
its shape, its edges defined 
against the
what we built together. 
 
It was a habit, NO
it was my life 
a wornpath now
of my communication, 
a default setting I hadn't bothered 
to examine in years.  Reminiscing
I have no bond with you

a quick assumption before you finished speaking, gaslighting
mechanism  uninvited, unnecessary.  
And then, the moment of seeing. 
Like a window suddenly cleaned, 
the  of years dissolving, 
and there it was, plain as the morning 
part in the  tension. 
 
A quiet internal pause. Everlasting to my death
A breath held, forever needed to be stthen released, fuck I'm still alive
a recognition that didn't carry 
only the gentle nudge of
Givezah fuck
 notice 
that pattern 
in your eyes sometimes
the small recoil, the brief retreat, 
pussy puller banging on these bitches
mirroring of y'all didn't want. 
 
And knowing, truly knowing, 
that was doing, keep it rolling 
It was not permanent, fuck it
Make it so it is
 etched in stone, 
 members choice in every unfolding 
That knowledge, I no longer want
became the lever. 
It didn't require any to be teaching a banging lesson
And so it pronounces, 
just a moment-by-moment decision 
to step off the familiar comfortability
To listen not just to the words, 
but to the space between them, 
to offer silence instead
to let your thoughts land from
 fully automatic normality
uninterrupted by my presents
Why the sudden yelling all time
change was instant
When I caught myself, I stopped. 
I really don't give a fuck anymore
Givzah
 ever.never it is no longer
 a human being 
Keep talking to the voice in the air
a gentle redirection of energy. 
And the wonders began to bloom, small at first. 
Gradually
The questions you never asked were met 
In concern, 
with genuine curiosity, not guarded investigated abuse in selfish expectations. 
This new tension, taunting insults
In the  background 
began to be more disrupting 
lost to the dial. Of assurance
The threat of abuse 
Your responses deepened, 
unfurling like ferns in spring rain, 
because the ground beneath them 
was suddenly more fertile, 
tarted to talk again, really talk, 
the kind of conversation 
where both people feel safe 
to be both strong and slightly undone. 
That single recognition, 
that small admission of internal ownership, 
unlocked a door we hadn't known was locked. 
It wasn't about fixing
and in doing so, 
transforming the entire stage 
where our love plays out. But the love was replaced by stonewalling,
The relationships animosity builds 
Why lost a , FUCK
a full, uncomplicated inhale, feeling now of 
What is done to myself
Your accomplishments 
 finally death for me
Worth it not to be me

rap808 trap  soul content voice