Stay Loud

I too was born

to be a loud ass bitch

not the kind they could quiet

not the kind they could fix

I got a storm in my chest

and a mouth full of truth

if I shake when I speak

that don’t mean I’m scared of you

Sixteen when the world first split me open

learned too young how a body can go frozen

smiling in the mirror like I knew who I was

but I was miles away, disconnected just because

they took what they wanted, left me with shame

I carried their shadows while they kept their names

I learned how to leave my body on the floor

then wake up in the morning like I’d done it before

And survival don’t always look clean

sometimes it’s dead eyes in a pretty routine

doing what I had to when the rent was due

don’t you judge me for the hell I made it through

I was young, almost homeless, barely on my feet

so I made peace with being separate from me

but peace ain’t the same as being free

one day I woke up and came back to me

I’m not ashamed of the body I survived in

not ashamed of the nights I was hiding

not ashamed of the rage in my voice

when they took my consent and then called it a choice

I’m not quiet, I’m not sweet, I’m not small

I’m the scream in the courthouse, the writing on the wall

I too was born to be a loud ass bitch

and I won’t die silent just to make men rich

Look, I reported it, recorded it, sat in that station

had his own damn words in the conversation

said what he did while I wasn’t awake

tell me how much more evidence does it take?

Six months passed, no call, no motion

DA stayed still like a dried-up ocean

I’m in court every week, so I checked that door

like, “What do you need? What you waiting for?”

Then I caught a case with a child getting hurt

thirty reports and they still did dirt

so I made noise, yeah, I pressed on the wound

then my own case got declined real soon

“Insufficient evidence,” that’s the line they gave

while survivors get buried and predators get saved

So when they ask why women don’t report

tell ’em the truth: the system protects its own court

I’ve seen mothers shaking in my chair

seen little girls learn life isn’t fair

seen women explain every bruise like a crime

while men get the benefit of everybody’s time

And I’m not just angry, I am awake

I know what it costs when truth gets erased

I know how it feels to be evidence and still

be told your pain is not enough to be real

This is for the girls who never told

for the women who froze and still feel cold

for the ones asked what they wore

for the ones blamed for surviving war

You are not dirty, you are not weak

you are the thunder when your knees still speak

I’m the witness, the lawyer, the woman, the proof

I’m the consequence walking in heels and truth

I’m the case they declined but could never erase

I’m the rage with a name and a beautiful face

I too was born to be a loud ass bitch

and I’m done asking power for permission to exist.