Into the darkness

Thirty-three.

Looking back on the days I’ve lived, I realize I’ve always hidden behind a smiling face.

The truth concealed beneath that mask kept pulling me down into a deep ocean.

A year passes, ten years pass, yet I keep locking myself inside my own smile.

Even when I say I’m tired, even when I say I’m struggling, all I get back is people’s indifference.

I’m exhausted too.

It’s not only you who’s hurting.

Save me. Save me first.

I’ve spent too many days in the dark, and now I’m worn out.

No matter how much I smiled, I wasn’t happy.

I even hid myself behind my own fake laughter.

Seconds, minutes, hours, days—

The clock keeps ticking, time keeps passing,

Yet I’m still standing in the same place as before.

Even when I try to take one step closer to happiness,

I don’t have the courage to move forward.

When I asked for help, there was no help.

Please God, please give me the courage to live happily.

The truth hidden behind my smiling mask kept pulling me down into a deep ocean.

A year passes, ten years pass, yet I keep locking myself inside my own smile.

Even when I say I’m tired, even when I say I’m struggling, all I get back is people’s indifference.

At some point, I started wanting to escape the darkness.

No matter how much I called out from inside these suffocating walls, all I heard was emptiness.

Until I met you, my own helplessness kept swallowing me whole.

You pulled me out of this cold darkness.

I don’t have to trap myself behind a mask anymore.

You made me stand out in this world.

Now I don’t have to hide myself anymore.

I can love myself again.

I can love myself once more.