[Verse 1]
Wake up in the afternoon
Phone lit up, same texts, same plug
Say I'm done every week, then I backslide
Mama prayin', but I’m ghost in the back row
Staring at the ceiling fan
It spin like my plans when I black out
I was just tryna numb that first heartbreak
Now my whole damn life feel cashed out
Friends tell me, "Bro, you good?"
I lie like I always do, "Yeah, I'm straight"
But my hands still shake when the bag run low
And my tongue taste chalk, and my chest feel weight
[Chorus]
These drugs keep me in a state of fucking hell
Every time I climb out, I slip as I fell
Say I'm fine, but you can’t tell by the smell
By the eyes, by the lies that I sell to myself
These drugs keep me in a state of fucking hell
Little red devils sittin' lined up on the shelf
If I dial that number, I’m diggin’ my cell
But I still call back, still call back
[Verse 2]
Used to dream 'bout tours and the big stage
Now I dream 'bout sleep that don't fade to black
Used to run from the pain with a notebook
Now I run to the same old paper bag
Lil bro saw me nod at the dinner table
Asked why my head keep droppin' in the plate
I laughed it off, said I'm tired from the grind
He too young to see his hero this erased
Got a girl who love me but she packin'
Every time I promise, every time I relapse
She say she can’t watch me slowly vanish
Into lines, into lies, into apps, then collapse
[Chorus]
These drugs keep me in a state of fucking hell
Every time I climb out, I slip as I fell
Say I'm fine, but you can’t tell by the smell
By the eyes, by the lies that I sell to myself
These drugs keep me in a state of fucking hell
Little red devils sittin' lined up on the shelf
If I dial that number, I’m diggin’ my cell
But I still call back, still call back
[Bridge]
If I pour this out in the sink tonight
Would I shake? Would I scream? Would I finally fight?
If I flushed that last bit down the drain
Would I meet that kid I was before the pain?
I ain’t ask to feel this empty
I ain’t ask to need a pill just to feel
But if I don’t own this, it owns me
So I bleed on the track till the poison turns real
[Chorus]
These drugs keep me in a state of fucking hell
Every time I climb out, I slip as I fell
Say I'm fine, but you can’t tell by the smell
By the eyes, by the lies that I sell to myself
These drugs keep me in a state of fucking hell
But I’m sick of these walls, sick of this cell
If I crawl, if I fall, I’ll still yell
I want out, I want out of this fucking hell