I Made It Home

I saw two bars, but picked the wrong,
Walked in and tried to sing a song.
They said, “Sir, that’s a laundromat.”
I bowed and tipped my baseball hat.

Should’ve took a taxi ride, Instead I tried to walk with pride.
The world was spinning like a show,
My legs said “yes,” my feet said “no.”

I made it home at three o’clock,
My key tried fighting with the lock.
I missed the door but found the floor,
And swore I’d drink that much no more.

Not far to go, I'm almost home,
Without my car I'm so alone. 
Where is my street; where can it be?
Even my phone won’t help me see!

My front door key fit someone’s car,
They weren’t amused, I’d gone too far.
They phoned the cops to come get me,
I tried to run but hit a tree.

I made it home at three o’clock,
My key tried fighting with the lock.
I missed the door but found the floor,
And swore I’d drink that much no more.

Lost my keys, so I hit the street, 
My feet forgot their two-step beat.
I waved at lights, could be a friend,
Oh no, can it be the cops again!

I woke up staring at the wall, No memory of the night at all.
My cellmate hummed some off-key tune,
Our jailhouse Rock was out of tune.

I made it home at three o’clock,
My key tried fighting with the lock.
I missed the door but found the floor,
And swore I’d drink that much no more.

Next morning came, my pride was gone,
My voice was rough, my shoes were wrong.
I’ve learned my lesson, more or less—
The floor’s no place to take a rest.

I checked my texts, what did I say?
Apparently, I proposed today.
To someone named “The Karaoke Queen,”
Whose beard was full, whose manners mean.

I made it home at three o’clock,
My key tried fighting with the lock.
I missed the door but found the floor,
And swore I’d drink that much no more.

I thought I’d just have one or two,
But twelve showed up — they joined me too.
My wisdom drowned, my sense took flight,
"Then hugged a pole and said goodnight."

I made it home at three o’clock,
My key tried fighting with the lock.
I missed the door but found the floor,
And swore I’d drink that much no more.
I made it home at three o’clock,
My key tried fighting with the lock.
I missed the door but found the floor,
And swore I’d drink that much no more.
And swore I’d drink that much no more!

Strong elements of: swing and jump-blues (horn-driven, rockabilly / Humorous feel 
Male singers