Deep therapy session

I'm broken but I'm smiling I'm living but I'm dying I'm happy but I crying this life is a nightmare. I said that I be with you. 20 years you said I ditched you. I told you that I love you, but instead I said I hate you. My family is perfect, but I said they wasn't worth it. I yelled at my brother, I embarrassed my own mother, I disrespect my father, I don't have to say more of it. but this is how it started. I pretend I was retarded, I got sent into the office. Saying that all the things I did was just a shame just a game. stuck inside prison because of my decision to live with bad intentions. how sad my parents was when have not seen me for a week. it felt like years to me stuck inside of this enclosed room you see. I needed therapy. they said I was good you see. but to me I'm evil see. I separated family and turned into enemies. they turned against each other see, this is a calamity. My dad protected me when I was little but now he's 63 and now I want to help, you see. my brother always said don't be a follower but instead I did the opposite. I promised my mom that I be a leader someday but my visions were not reality. Like a mirage my actions had deceived me. But that ain't the end of the story. If you want to hear what's in between and the ending please like this song for I still got some stories.