For those who seek truth
This story will shed light
its way past time
To grab that magic 8 ball
With both of your hands
Just turn it over
Ask all your questions
and you shall see
What’s in store
[build]
Will you ever find true love
Turn it over
and back upright
Magic 8 reveals
The answer is no
[female narrator]
Just you try again
Will you wake up to
lots of money
Turn it over and
back upright
Magic 8 ball reveals
The answer is no
[big finish]
you try again
Are you as pretty as
you know you are
Turn it over and
back upright
Magic 8 ball reveals
The answer is no
Will you be successful
The answer is unclear
Do things get better
The answer is no
Are you gonna die soon
The answer is yes
Could you have guessed
[melodic interlude]
Now take that magic 8 ball
And throw it in the trash
It just a stupid 8 ball
What is wrong with y’all
[big finish]
Answers can’t be found
Inside a plastic toy ball
Stay away from that shit
They just meant to annoy
[instrumental]
Don’t waste your money
Magic 8 is just a ploy
But if you want to feel bad
Go buy a plastic toy