Core

I built these walls, I made this cell,

Trapped myself where shadows dwell.

I say I’m fine, but you can tell—

I’m starving for the freedom I repel.

Overdrawn, underestimated,

Every wound I left inflated.

Emotion locked, emotion faded,

Why do I fear what could’ve saved me?

I’m protecting my pain, it’s mine to hold,

Like fire in my hands, it’s burning cold.

I push you out, then call your name,

I’m the maker, the prisoner, and the flame.

You reach for love, I pull away,

I break the bridge, then curse the fray.

Every heart I bruise, I pray—

Someday I’ll find the words to stay.

You’re not the ghost I’m fighting through,

It’s me, it’s me, I never knew—

That the boy inside still cries for truth,

His tears weigh down what’s left of youth.

I’m protecting my pain, it’s mine to hold,

Like fire in my hands, it’s burning cold.

I push you out, then call your name,

I’m the maker, the prisoner, and the flame.

Oh, I pray I’ll find the strength someday,

To throw a blanket on that rage.

To hold the child I locked away,

And tell him it’s okay… it’s okay.

I am drowning, I am tired,

I am lonely, uninspired.

But I am—

Still here.

I am