[Verse 1]
Lord… I gotta say this here ‘cause I can’t say it at home.
I walk in that door and I’m “solid,”
but inside I’m not. I’m tired down in the bone.
Everybody says I’m strong
like that means I don’t bleed.
They say “Nate got it,”
like I don’t shake when I crawl to sleep.
Truth?
There were nights I didn’t know if I’d make tomorrow.
Sat in the dark, chest tight, mouth shut, drowning quiet.
Nobody saw it.
That’s how alone it gets.
That’s how a grown man dies slow
with a straight face.
[Hook]
If I break…
who’s gonna hold ‘em when I’m gone?
If I break…
who keeps this roof on?
They pray I don’t fall,
but if I do fall
who carries ‘em all?
Tell me that.
If I break…
who catches my wife when she shakes?
If I break…
who keeps the dogs off the gate?
I keep breathing ‘cause I can’t let go.
That’s the only reason I’m still here, Lord.
You know.
[Verse 2]
They see vacations, money, cars.
“Boss man, he made it.”
They don’t see scars.
They don’t the fear.
Fear of letting down the ones I swore to protect.
Fear of meeting You and hearing,
“You fed ‘em, but you didn’t know me.”
That’s what haunts me.
Not death.
But Disappointing You.
I teach people now ‘cause nobody taught me,
but really I’m saying,
“God, forgive what I did in not believe’n in you.”
[Hook]
If I break…
who’s gonna stand in that door?
If I break…
who tells the wolves “no more”?
They think I can’t crack.
Truth is, I already cracked.
I just sew it shut
and walk out calm.
[Verse 3]
Here’s the part I can’t say out loud:
Some days I feel gone already.
Body here, voice steady,
soul half missing.
And yeah, some nights I hear that voice sayin’:
“Leave. You did enough. Rest. Give up already”
I sure won’t.
But that pull is real.
Only You know that what I’m sayin’ is real.
Understand me:
I never ran.
Even when I wanted to vanish,
I never ran. No No No Noooo
[Hook]
If I break…
who’s gonna stand in that door?
If I break…
who tells the wolves “no more”?
They think I can’t crack.
Truth is, I already cracked.
I just sew it shut
and walk out calm.
[prayer/spoken over the band fading]
Forgive me father for I have sinned. I know that without the Lord I won’t win.
I put my love in you - trust you’ll see me through- forgive me for the lies,
Lord I’m aiming for the truth. And I know that’s in you.
You sacrificed your son - they still deny your existence - they still deny your claim…to the kingdom that awaits. You’re the light in the darkness and I’m looking to you, for all the things you taught me
Amen
[Hook]
So if I break…
stand where I stood.
If I break…
guard what I would.
Write this on me when I’m done:
He never let it fall,
even when he could have.
He put his faith in you Lord, his love was steadfast for you God.
CheckNate
