Somebody said I was dead

Somebody said I had passed away,

But I woke up breathing just fine today.

Checked the paper over my morning toast,

Didn’t find my name in the obits post.

I ain’t as strong as I used to be,

But I’m still here, least far as I can see.

Then Momma called just to verify,

Asked me what time the service was.

Said, “Lord, I ain’t got a dress to wear,

Guess I better wash my hair.”

And Daddy don’t own no Sunday suit,

But he’ll shine up his old work boots.

I’m not dead—least far as I can tell,

But if I am, I hope you wish me well.

I ain’t the man I was before,

But I’m still standin’, maybe a little sore.

Then my friend Bob, he gave me a call,

Said, “If you’re gone, can I have it all?

I’ll take that pickup and your old guitar—

Man, you always played like a country star.

Oh, and about that money you owed—

Guess it’s best to let it go.”

I’m still alive, least far as I can tell,

But if I’m wrong, you send me off well.

Tell Mary Lou I loved her so,

But don’t you let my old lady know.

I’m still upright, still on my feet,

Though the road’s a little rough and the hill’s a bit steep.

But if I’m gone, just dig a hole on my lawn,

Raise a glass and play one more song—

‘Cause I’m still here, far as I can tell.